Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Feline Situation

I like cats. A lot. If you don't like cats go drink a glass of water and come back later, because you won't enjoy this. That's me being nice because I don't have much tolerance for cat haters. The main reason is because of the stupid reasons people give for not liking cats. Number one reason I hear, "I hate cats, I'm allergic." You have no idea what this does to me. It's okay to be allergic to something and avoid it. I have allergic friends that just don't go out of there way to wipe their tears on fluffy cat fur, but there's no hatred. I am allergic to milk (all kinds of fun itchy throat, occasional breathing trouble allergic) but I don't deny myself the pleasure of an occasional scoop of ice cream. Or slice of pizza.

Back to my original point. I like cats. I have four of my own (Homer- Homer Wells from The Cider House Rules, Emma- Emma Oastler frome Until I Find You, Tomasina- from the Disney The Nine Lives of Thomasina, and Angel- the pretty but dumb, but sometimes clever one that once ate a sewing needle and some  thread). Plus some extras, but we'll get to that. So we moved to this house a year ago and were told there were some cats in the area so we'd fit in well. We had no idea how many cats they were talking about. They are everywhere. These are pier and beam house built mostly in the late 40's and the poor homeless, feral cats live and multiply under them. Even I can say there are too many cats. (I am tired and my italics don't seem to convey the tone of voice my head is using but it's the closest I can get.) I name them. From a distance. There's Kevin, a territorial black and white. Some other, less interesting ones. And then there's Black Bob. Good ol' Bob became friendly towards me a few months back (actually let me touch him) so I made the "mistake" of feeding him on the porch of the abandoned house next door (all kinds of fun around here, more on that house later). Bob and I are buddies now. Well little Black Betty noticed Bob was livin' the high life and moved onto my porch last week. With her babies. Three scrawny little scuzzbuckets with big bat ears. I know first hand the starving, dying of thirst feeling of a nursing momma so how could I turn her down? I couldn't. She loves me for it. Thus the "extras".

So a friend of mine says, "Hey! Now you just need a Black Bart (like the pirate)." And guess what. Not 24 hours later Black Betty brought her friend, Black Bart! (who turned out to be a girl, but you got a name? too bad, you're stuck with it Bart) I'm preeeetty sure Black Bart's been gettin' it on with Kevin and Bob sooooo...... the moral of this story is FREE KITTENS! Three now, possibly more later. Oh and the friendly neighbor's got some kittens under her house, too. MORE FREE KITTENS!
I know most of you don't live within my kitten delivery driving radius of 25 miles, but I am more than willing to board a plane with the soon to be precious scuzzbucket of your own and fly the tiny bundle to you. FREE KITTENS with purchase of round-trip airfare.


  1. Aww! I have a delightful cat that had a name but now we just call her 'dog' because she acts like one. (Playing fetch and drinking out of the toilet) A few months ago before we could get her fixed she managed to get out of the house and had a bit of a rumspringa, not coming home for 2 days. When I finally got her back I was sure she was knocked up until she went into heat. Yay for no FREE KITTENS at my house.

    Hope you find all those sweethearts nice happy homes. Good Luck.

  2. Awww...I live across from a wooded area, and daahhhlin daughter and I feed and take in many feral cats ourselves...unfortunately, no room here...

    Hope you are able to find them good homes soon...

  3. I get so excited when I hear about people with cats! Dog cats are awesome (and often better than actual dogs)
    RR: You seriously lucked out. The unintended feline pregnancies are the ones that seem to produce kittens by the dozen
    A: So glad someone else feeds the homeless :)